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  • Writer's pictureapriladventuring

Day 10: On Failure

Some days I wake up refreshed and ready to tackle the day. I feel inspired and excited to work on my projects.


Today is not one of those days.


This morning was a groggy mess. My neck has a crick in it. My brain took hours to (mostly) fully wake up. And my motivation levels are rock bottom.


I'd hoped yesterday to finish my Maui vlog and that didn't happen. Not even close. Everything takes longer than I expect and more distractions come along than I predict. It feels like the clock is always working against me. Time slows to a stop when I can't wait for the day to be over, but whizzes by when I'm fighting a deadline.


It's hard not to want to throw in the towel when I know I won't make my usual Sunday posting day and wait until the next Sunday. But then my week starts off slow knowing I have another seven days to finish my video, then I'm fighting the deadline again when Friday rolls around. Pushing my video back weeks and weeks before finally calling it good enough.


I've decided this time to forget my Sunday schedule and continue working until I can hit "upload," even if that occurs mid-week.


Today is a down day for me, workwise and personally. I feel like a failure. You can bet there was no cold shower for me this morning (see my day 8 post).


I know there's plenty of entrepreneurial advice about the positive side of failures. There's no success without failure. Mistakes are just learning opportunities. Giving up is the only true failure.


And usually I'd agree.


But this week's failures have made me add nuance to my stance.


Failing at trying something new is great. At least you gave it a shot and you probably learned a lot, especially around what doesn't work. With this type of failure, you can review what went wrong, iterate, and try again.


Failing at something you know you can do is a bit different. I know I can put out a video each week, but haven't been able to do so consistently. This, to me, hasn't been an opportunity for growth, but for disappointment in myself.


I suppose you could say that I've still learned something: about time management, editing more efficiently, outsourcing or batch creating.


But that wouldn't really be true. I still haven't cracked the code what what works for me productivity-wise. I'm left wondering if I simply lack the discipline to make this line of work a reality.


And life really gets in the way. I'm completely in awe of people who were able to get content creation careers off the ground while working a more traditional job. Even with all the time in the world now, it's hard to maintain the creativity and enthusiasm for enough hours to get everything done.


Regardless, I'm putting in the work and using these failures as positive stress to put myself back on track. I'm proud of myself for still showing up today, completing day 10 of my writing challenge, and hopping back into iMovie after this to make more progress.


Thank you for stopping by and reading. I hope you're having a wonderful Friday out there in the world. If you're having a down day too, know that you're not alone and I'm sending you positive vibes :)


Catch you again tomorrow.


Happy adventuring,

A

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